So anyone who knows me also recognizes the fact that I have a massive superiority complex. Basically, I think I'm superior to everything I see, hear, smell, touch, taste or otherwise sense. And that sense of accomplishment is not undeserved, afterall, I can finish ANY sentence you start from Point Break. However, even if I were to lower my view of the world to more objective standards, I still think I'd believe the girl who constructively dumped me's new suitor is a giant douche.
Anyways, I was at the gym working the pythons (it's commonly known that any client moving within ten feet of me is guilty of being a felon in constructive possession of my guns) when I saw her running on the treadmill. I approached her and made awkward small talk (but not about Matthew McConaughey) and then he stood beside her. Picture this: light green faux hawk and a fairy blue t-shirt that says "SOCIAL WORKER: BECAUSE I CARE." Oh, he also cut off the sleeves. Even if he hadn't honed in on the girl I thought I was appropriately macking, I would have wanted to kick his ass. Some of you may recall a previous post where I described her friend's explanation by proxy, that "she had found someone better." Of course it had to be someone that I would have randomly lifted over my head and broken his back over my knee.
This begs the question, am I really that terrible of a catch where I lose a woman in the BRF to THAT?? Muthafucka.
