My Almost Contempt Moment

I have a real knack for pissing people off. However, I think I was born without that part of my brain that regulates whether or not I care. So anyways, I had a probation revocation hearing today with an unbelievable asshole ALJ. He and I get into it right away. Apparently he didn't like me appealing all of his decisions and writing the head of hearings and appeals to request a permanent substitution. Anyways, he overrules my objections on everything from speculation to privilege, and then sustains on a hearsay objection from the probation agent who doesn't know what the hell hearsay is. Plus, she's fat.

So after another heated argument, we go into closings, and he cuts me off, calling my "theory" that my client didn't assault his mother "ridiculous" and telling me to stop talking. He then goes into a rant about how he "peered into his soul and saw the evil inside." Now, I sometimes lose control, particularly when a condescending prick wrongs me in a public manner. So I turned to my client and told him that Jesus was back to judge the quick and the dead and that his number was up. Fucking ALJ slammed his hand on the desk, stopped the recorder, packed up his shit, and left.

I think I won that one.

Now THIS is BADASS!!!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080814/lf_nm_life/peru_dog_boxing_dc

It dons boxing gloves, throws punches, bites, jumps through rings of fire, and fights crime. Plus, it's a dog. I think I've said enough.

Fucked up shit

Despite my raging against imm'grants, France, and invasions of my god-given right to carry a bazooka wherever I damn well please, I'm generally pretty liberal. For instance, I think Bush's vows to veto any bill authorizing stem cell research is an arcane denial of cures for millions of people who suffer from genetic diseases. I even support the cloning of human organs for transplant purposes, assuming the technology is available to everyone. However, after seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger's moving performance in the Seventh Day, I am one hundred percent opposed to the complete cloning of a living being.

When I got home from work, I was absolutely shocked to find that a woman paid $50,000.00 to clone her dead dog of two years five times over. A North Korean genetics firm handled the cloning procedure (as opposed to a master cloning race on the planet Kamino). The pet owner, who named all of the clone hounds after the original, Booger, stated "It is a miracle for me because I was able to smile again, laugh again and just feel alive again."

My initial assessment of this situation leads me to believe that the owner didn't need to sell her house, pay 50 grand and get five duplicate clones of an old dog. Had she come to me, I would have recommended a new dog and some prozac. For half the cost she spent on cloning. I understand the role of pets just like anyone. I just completed two and a half weeks of dogsitting my mighty beast companion, Taffy, and she is as much a part of the family as any of us. There is a bond between pets and humans that can never be captured in words. But any pet owner understands. However, part of the magic of any pet is being able to remember it's unique personality, quirks, and history as a special part of your life. I imagine that trying to duplicate the experience from a clone would feel cheap and unnatural. Much like your mom.

In any event, I have to draw the moral line at cloning something with consciousness (unless someone wants to clone me a Scarlett Johansen, like in The Island). It disturbs me on an old testament level. Nobody was meant to play god, yet creation of life is the only thing he holds as an exclusive. If we allow cloning of pets, then that beloved lost relative is undoubtedly next. Pretty fucking creepy, right? Like we're creating a life without a soul. Plus, once I kill K-Fed, he can just come back, stronger than before. It's an unacceptable risk and one I'm refusing to take.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080805/hl_nm/korea_clones_dc