Why do we do it?

There I was, enjoying the Badger game by myself, sipping a pepsi and eating a frozen pizza. Halftime came around and John Stocco's aerial circus throroughly impressed me and reaffirmed my conclusion that he will win the Heisman this year. Halftime came around and I asked myself, what could make this better? Beer, I thought.

So I walked down to the liquor store, got some beer and planned on having a couple until I ran into a couple of friends. I drew on habit and reasoned that social drinking would not make an alcoholic, and concluded that we should all get together and drink more than two. I think I had six beers within the third quarter, then we switched to shots of Clan MacGregor. For those of you that aren't familiar, Clan MacGregor is alot like gasoline, and that's what you feel like you've been drinking the next day.

I've had some skull-splitting hangovers in my day, but this was my first "bad one" in a really long time. I remember reading John Grisham books in high school, before I had ever tried alcohol. Grisham tends to highlight the average lawyer's vulnerability to alcohol by vividly describing hangover symptoms. After reading his accounts, I told myself I would never get drunk. Seven years of college later, my high school self is calling my current being a dumbass. And once again, I vowed to never get drunk after today.

Now I know that I'm just lying to myself, it will happen again. Possibly as soon as the first bar review. Afterall, the law school, Madison, and youth cultures I belong to all strongly encourage drinking. And I tend to give in to the peer pressure. So why do we do it? We're all just as capable of socializing without alcohol. I'd like to think that few people have the kind of life where they need the chemical escape provided by alcohol. The perceptions that we are better singers/dancers/mack daddys after drinking has been disproven time and again. So what does alcohol have to offer besides nausea, headaches, and embarassment?

I'll tell you what it has to offer. The American tradition. George Washington had wooden teeth, but he was able to sit and have a Sam Adams with Sam Adams. Andrew Jackson routinely drank whisky before making important decisions, and our very own state is supported on the shoulders of innovators like Jacob Leinenkugel, the Millers, and George Pabst Blue Ribbon Jr., esquire. Jack Handy once commented that it was his duty to help fulfill the hopes and dreams of American brewers by drinking their products. Like Mr. Handy, I am unwilling to turn my back on my fellow Americans. Sure, I'm in a little bit of pain now, but a little pain is a small sacrifice to ensure that America remains the greatest country in the world.