Eh

Of all the things that could have landed me in deep shit, I was relatively surprised when the Judge threatened me with jail time for showing up five minutes late after a mini blizzard delayed my drive. I walk into the hearing, and he told the attorney on speaker phone that she had to hold on because the rude, unprofessional attorney that walked in had to explain why he shouldn't go to jail for a week. Then he demanded to know why I shouldn't be held in contempt. Although I was vastly tempted to answer by grabbing my genitals and shaking them vociferously, I actually managed to remain calm and explain in a condescending manner Wisconsin traffic dynamics during a snowstorm.

Of course, that's not all this was about. He's pissed because I've been substituing him like mad because he's a terrible judge. I've also been telling everyone I know that he's a terrible judge. And I took up a billboard ad proclaiming him to be a terrible judge in front of his house. But seriously, what kind of asshole takes that personally? I guess it's no big secret that I don't have a great rapport with people in general. However, even though I expect to be treated like a shithead ninety percent of the time, this was a LONG couple of weeks. In fact, I think I've missed Madison more in the last couple of weeks than I have the remainder of my time "away." Come to think of it, I'd almost rather be anywhere else at the moment. I occasionally run into/hear from/hear about/threaten to murder people from our law school class. Most of them went on to do some really amazing things and I can't help but feel insignificant in my efforts and ambitions (minus my normal levels of grandiosity). Maybe it's because I'm always melancholy this time of year, or maybe it's because the non-Stocco Badgers are sucking the Big Ten's Balls, but whatever it is, I'm in a shitty mood. Thank God tomorrow is Friday!

Next Post: I will describe the guy I saw that dressed exactly like Property Ladder's famed asshole flipper: Sergio, complete with dollar sign baseball cap cocked sideways.