Now I Really Need a Beer

A little while back I represented this 18 year-old girl in a minor criminal damage case. I got her a pretty good deal and thought I'd never see her again. Her boyfriend at the time, a guy older than me (who probably had drugs in his system older than me) was barred from contacting her as a condition of her probation.

So when I heard that she had been revoked from probation for smoking THC and Meth while pregnant, I had to figure that he must have been involved. So artfully, I asked her "Is he the father?" To which she responded, "Oh no, I would have had an abortion if that was the case!" Breathing a sigh of relief, I went to look at my notes for sentencing. Then she added "You remember my cousin from my case? He's the dad."

I didn't know whether to laugh gregariously or vomit gregariously. Nevertheless, it may be time to move out of rural Wisconsin.