Fuck justice. And kangaroos.

I think I posted awhile back on my client who was pulled over for having a license plate lamp that was too bright. Or maybe I just drunkenly talked about it. To myself. Anyways, at the last hearing the police officer behind this masterful stop didn't show at the last hearing and I moved for a warrant. After the judge and prosecutor basically called me an asshole in open court, a $150.00 warrant was issued for her appearance in court today.

I went into court with alot of pride, because the new female police officer who so cavalierly told the Clerk of Court that she didn't appear because "she sleeps during the day," had actually been hauled into jail by her chief and forced to post $150.00. However, she returned with a vengeance to my suppression motion hearing.

In one of my counties, there is no real rule of law. The judge spent a career drafting contracts and purchase agreements for a major furniture corporation (It rhymes with "trashley") and has no idea what the hell he's doing when it comes to criminal law. So naturally, he just listens to the State every time. So today, he began the hearing by asking if I filed a motion, then indicated to everyone that he hadn't read it. My entire case was based on a wonderful squad recording that happened to show the stop was complete horseshit covered in dogshit and sprinkled with tiny pellets of liceshit.

But alas, the local cop had an answer to my unreasonable attack. It turns out the squad video showed everything accurately EXCEPT for the license plate lamps, which was too dim for detection. The Judge, who is also a fan of hot women with large breasts said "well, I agree that the recording doesn't show a violation, but the Court is forced to accept the testimony of our local law enforcement." The officer finished off her performance by telling me my question was irrelevant and she would not answer. Staring at her titties, the Judge agreed and sustained an objection from the witness. And just like that, an OWI-3rd, dime bag, and a whole bunch of bail jumpings are suddenly admissible.

Oh, and when I referred to the violation as a "magical problem only the officer could see," I got threatened with thirty days of jail. Suffice it to say, it's on.