My Fourth Amendment Adventure

So I was on my way back to Western Wisconsin for an interview and brief visit with my family. I had rented a car, due to the untimely departure of the Ford Tempo. Needless to say, the vehicle performed at a higher level than my previous ride, and my already normal speeding was exacerbated by the smooth acceleration.

I saw the trooper well in advance, so I'm internally baffeled by the fact that I didn't slow down. I guess I thought I was invincible. And guess what: I FUCKING AM!!!

The officer turned on his headlights, pulled behind me, and activitated his lightbar. He dismounted his unit and approached said vehicle (me). The trooper asked me how fast I was going, and I gave him a very weak "73." He told me: "try 92." Needless to say, the staredown was intense over the next few seconds, as he asked me questions trying to trap me into a lie. He knew full well that it was a rental car, and that I was not the owner. I told him that I had to speed home so I could get a full night's sleep before my interview.

He came back with a warning and then asked me a series of questions about my destination, where I was a student, and if I had any drugs, guns, or large amounts of cash. Viewing things from the totality of the circumstances, from the officer's point of view, I was probably acting suspicious.

1. I had rented a vehicle to travel a short distance, without any luggage in sight.
2. I described my destination as a city an hour away from my interview site.
3. I hadn't shaved in a couple of days, my eyes were bloodshot, and I probably looked like a douchebag.
4. The radio was tuned to a station playing "Do your chains hang low?"
5. It was night.
6. I was wearing a black jumpsuit, gold chains, had pasted a fake columbian moustache on my face, and was talking to Pablo Escobar on my cell phone.

Apparently, the officer thought so too, because he tried to play "good cop" with me and just issue a warning. After asking these questions, he asked the big one: Can I search your vehicle? I promptly responded [as the camera zoomed to my mouth] NO.

The trooper persisted, telling me that only people with something to hide refused, then he told me that my story of being a student didn't add up, because I was 25 and "a little old for it." I responded that I happened to be a third-year law student and asked if I was free to go. He said they may have to call a dog, but I think he knew full well that since he had already issued me a warning for the original stop, he had no reasonable suspicion to hold me further and the staredown indicated I had my finger on the lawsuit trigger. I asked him, well you calling the dog or not? He said "have a nice night, sir," and I drove off, keeping it well under the speed limit until I lost him.

Granted, I probably didn't need to be a prick, but frankly, every now and then people have to stick up for their right to refuse searches, lest the Constitution be eroded once more. The moral of this story? Be cool and you can go 27 miles per hour over the speed limit without consequences. I can dodge bullets, baby.