Those who know me realize that I love Wisconsin football. I spend all week anticipating the football game at Camp Randall and fully wear myself out for Saturday home games. I logged on this morning to get my football tickets. They were sold out.

MOTH-ER-FUCK-ER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently, the athletic Ticket office reports that this is the first time EVER that student season football tickets were sold out before mid-May, which is when I was accustomed to making the purchase. Well, son of a bitch, this year, the tickets sold out in April and I have to sit on my ass at home while everyone else in the world goes to Camp Randall.

What really stirs my ire is the fact that many of those tickets are going to frat boys and habitual drunkards who never get to Camp Randall until the third quarter, and leave the student section sparsely populated. I loved going to football games because I could enjoy them drunk OR sober. There are few other activities that fit into that category. Now I won't be able to enjoy football period because I'll be alone, at home, NOT getting my ass slapped by the girl behind me when "Shout" plays, and unable to get drunk, because tailgating before a televised game just makes me an alcoholic. I know that there will be opportunities for me to buy vouchers from someone else, but I won't for several reasons. (1) The vouchers often go for three times their face value, especially Big Ten games, (2) It's a pain in the ass to haggle, meet, and purchase, (3) I'll feel like a "part-timer" if I only go to a couple of games. It may not seem like alot, but not getting football tickets is a major blow to my happiness and is one of those things that will set me on the course of becoming an even bigger loser.

Stocco for Heisman.