The Best Movie Trilogy Ever
Last week, some friends and I discussed the best and worst movie trilogies ever made. The general consensus was that Indiana Jones, the original Star Wars, and Back to the Future were in a close race for the best trilogies. Also discussed was the phenomenon that plagues the second movie in a trilogy as the worst one (i.e. Ocean's 12, Pirates II, Matrix Reloaded, and I hope to god that Fantastic Four II is the worst of the series). With some badass trilogies coming out this summer (Rush Hour III), I figured that I would start my own franchise of trilogy and ride the money train. Only my second movie will not suck. So without any more delay, I present to you the cast and storyline of Point Break II: The Breaking Point.
Cast:
Johnny Utah: Keanu Reeves
Bodhi: Patrick Swayze
Tyler Ann Endicott: Jessica Beil (I made the executive decision to swap Loren Petty with someone way hotter who doesn't remind me of A League of their Own).
Mario Pappas: (Twin brother of dead Angelo Pappas) Gary Busey
Special Agent Ben Harp: John McGinley
A.C. Slater: Mario Lopez
Plot:
1. The movie begins in the same manner as Rocky, with Utah telling the Australian SWAT team that Bodhi isn't coming back, and cuts to Utah throwing FBI badge in the ocean and walking away.
2. Utah walks into FBI office and Special Agent Harp fires him. Utah makes badass comment about the office exceeding the asshole quota. Storms off. Harp quits and changes name to Perry Cox.
3. Meets Tyler at home. She explains sudden hotness with "do you like my plastic surgery?"
4. Governor Schwarzenegger makes a cameo and forms the Surf Crimes unit, which Utah heads with Pappas' twin brother.
5. Cuts to Bodhi who was washed 800 miles in a tsunami to Malaysia. The Ronald Reagan mask washes up beside him. Bodhi puts on the mask, and surfs across the ocean to America while sinister music plays.
6. Utah is watching TV in his office...it's a show about a Great White fighting a Grizzly with explosions and lightening bolts everywhere. The show cuts to breaking news with Connie Chung who states that the U.S. bank in LA had been robbed by a surfer wearing a Reagan mask.
7. Utah and Pappas stake out a random bank in L.A. Utah goes to get meatball sandwiches and Pappas yells, "Hey Utah, get me two!" Unbeknownst to them, Bodhi is robbing the bank.
8. Badass car chase scene...they destroy property worth far more than the bank robbery loot.
9. Utah almost catches Bodhi, points gun, but cannot pull the trigger because they are blood brothers. Points gun in the air and fires off magazine while emitting a gutteral yell.
10. Action sequence with skydiving, pounding a liter of tequila, and playing beach football.
11. Utah corners Bodhi at a beach with huge tsunamis. The tsunamis alternate between regular tsunamis and Lord of the Rings style that look like galloping horses. Utah says "You gotta go down again, Bodhi." A fight ensues in the surf.
12. Bodhi begins to drown Utah then he lets go. Both look up and see the Silver Surfer drilling holes in the earth. Utah looks at Bodhi and says, "go, it is your destiny." Utah looks at the Human Torch and kills him with a badass overdose.
13. Bodhi gets on his surfboard and chases after the Silver Surfer. There is a huge fight scene where they fight while surfing the crest of the tsunami. Eventually, they punch each other so hard (at the same time) that both fly into space.
14. Camera cuts to space where Bodhi throws the Silver Surfer into the Sun. Galactus destroys France.
15. Back to Utah on Earth: He looks sadly at the Reagan mask in his hand because he realizes that Bodhi had some good in him. Utah looks upwards and sees that the stars had realigned into a constellation that looked exactly like Bodhi's face. AC Slater appears and high-fives Utah.
16. Screen fades to black and the words "The end" appear...after a few seconds, "?" appears and we see Bodhi plunging into the ocean, unhurt.
17. Cut to credits and play Ratt: Nobody Rides for Free
If this movie doesn't win the Oscar for best movie ever made, then just wait for the third in the Point Break trilogy.
Check out the original trailer for Point Break, featuring Reeves, Swayze, Busey and Dr. Cox. Now multiply it by about five hundred in anticipation of the badassedry that will ensue from the sequal.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4-Fso2EZq8
posted by Johnny Utah @ 5:21 PM
4 Comments:
First off, Breaking Point looks awesome. Especially the inclusion of Mario Pappas - that's a masterstroke.
And although I acknowledge that the second part of many trilogies is the weakest, sometimes it can be the strongest as well. For example, Spiderman 2, X-Men 2, Empire Strikes Back. And, of course, Miss Congeneality 2. (Oh, wait, that wasn't a trilogy - so far.) (Also, for the record, I have never and will never see Miss Congeneality 2.)
Personally, Reloaded is my favorite Matrix film, and Two Towers is my favorite Lord of the Rings (non-extended versions). Although I will grant that the first Matrix was better overall, the second half of Reloaded was like some gigantic techno-kung fu cinematic orgasm.
I agree that your movie sounds amazing, Utah. My only question, though, is whether there might be room for Keanu to fight a giant spider?
In any event, I, too, have to disagree about the Matrix Reloaded. I think it's the best one--by far. I think that the Matrix movies are about as deep as a saucepan. There's no substance there, but there's a shitload of style and action. And, on that level, Reloaded definitely delivers more than either of the others.
I have to say, Mr. Vice, that I think it's strange that you preferred The Two Towers. I think that's the weakest one by far. Return of the King was so awesome!
I think the Lord of the Rings series is an exception to the rule, since they were all fantastic...and I also completely forgot about X-Men 2 and Spiderman 2, which I loved. However, I still feel that the second and third Matri movies were crap. There were some good action moments, but I thought the love story was unbelievable, and they lacked the simple, clever plot in the original Matrix.
I decided to save the giant spider fight for the third movie: Point Break III: Web of Despair. Paris Hilton has expressed interest in appearing on the movie poster.
I don't know - I'd think the "Point Break" series would have to have far too much class to have Paris Hilton appear on the movie poster. Far, far too much.
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