Eye Doctor This [points to genitals]

I went in for my quasi-annual eye doctor appointment yesterday and was confronted by a gigantic dickhead who obviously thought alot of himself. My appointments have been quasi-annual, because the student health plan only allots limited vision benefits and I can't afford to pay for most of it out of pocket. But alas, the contact supply was almost depleted and I had to go in.

The optometrist asked me how often I changed my "monthly" contacts. Oh about every couple of months, I answered honestly. Then he launched into a lecture about how contacts were a prescription device, and if I didn't use them exactly as prescribed, I was abusing a drug...it was no different than abusing narcotics. I ignored the condescending speech for a moment. Then he told me that he needed to know my occupation for his medical records. I told him "lawyer." (Yes, I know I'm not officially a lawyer yet, but I got an adrenaline rush from the lie). This guy then had the nerve to tell me exactly why he hated all lawyers; particularly medical malpractice lawyers for always bringing "frivolous" lawsuits and criminal defense lawyers for getting all these guilty people off on technicalities. I reminded him that in some people's take on the law, those accused of a crime are presumed innocent. He poked my eye with a metal instrument. The visit ended when he told me he "refused" to write prescriptions for "inferior" generic contacts. There went an extra hundred bucks.

On an unrelated medical note, Paris Hilton was released from jail today after serving only three days of her 45 day sentence for an "unspecified medical problem." I hate to speculate, but should a semen overdose really be grounds to release someone to home monitoring?