Utah, Get Me Two

Badassedry at its finest, I dedicate this site to Gary Busey's performance as Angelo Pappas in Point Break. An absolutely phenomenal movie that I try to live my life by.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Who really killed O.J.'s wife?

Anyone ever had one of those dreams that just continues all night? Last night, I kept waking up every half an hour or so, but as soon as I went to sleep, the dream continued. Basically, a faction of the CIA contacted me to let me know that the fate of the modern world actually hinged on Ron Goldman not getting murdered. They had a time machine, and were going to send me back two weeks before the alleged OJ Simpson murder to stop whoever did it. The kicker? The CIA had conclusive proof that OJ was not the murderer, so I had to find the killer on my own. Two weeks to save the world.

So they sent me back with a bunch of guns and a friend of mine from law school and we went around busting heads and taking prisoners of people who may be able to help us find the killer. Now and then, my perception of the world switched to "video game mode" and my eyes would "scroll" over something and a little box would pop up mentally telling me that the person has information or is a threat. One other thing...we traveled in a Greyhound bus, driven by Higgins from Magnum, P.I.



Jonathan Quayle Higgins

Anyways, it was a day before the murder and I was very close to catching the murderer...we had an address and we just had to get there before he left to begin the slashing. I knew the place was twenty minutes away, however, I didn't know where it was. The fate of the world rested on me being able to navigate. I awoke in a panic, because Ron Goldman is in serious danger without Higgins getting good directions in the front of the bus. I was unable to return to sleep.

Now, I'm kind of pissed that I didn't get to see the end of my mental movie. I really wanted to know who the real killer was (almost certainly somebody I knew), if we saved the world, and most importantly, why Ron Goldman was the link that bound all humanity to survival. Anyone got any ideas? Because I sense a blockbuster movie.

3 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Your dream life is ridiculous. That was one of the best dreams I've read about in a while.

12:33 AM  
Blogger Vice said...

Not that I'm one to talk about driving anywhere safely, but I don't like the idea of the fate of the world resting on your ability to navigate. I'm remembering the day you tried to drive us somewhere and made four wrong turns in succession.

I think a safer approach would be to assume that Ron Goldman's killer would be smoking, and to fire a heat-seeking rocket up into the air. Naturally, the rocket would seek out the cigarette, blow up the would-be killer, and you can say some bad-ass line about the kill.

10:10 AM  
Blogger Johnny Utah said...

I told him that cigarettes would kill him.

11:12 AM  

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