Define "Prick"
So here I am, faced with a nominally easy decision that for some reason seems monumentally difficult. My car is parked at the very end of my driveway, of which only myself, my roommate, our two upstairs neighbors and my landlord have access. At the very other end, near the sidewalk, sits an unidentified car with Minnesota plates. It has been there for three days, parking me in. Nobody in the house seems to know the origin of this strange contraption from a faraway land.
Now, there is a small chance that my brother would like to take my car out tomorrow morning. Chances are, both my brother and myself would be too lazy to do so, but sometimes there is that opportunity for extraordinary motivation, where we act before 8 a.m. I have identified the likely culprit of this crass and daring act as the hot girl who lives directly across the window from me. I left a note on the car this afternoon demanding passage to Broom Street, and reminding the owner that there is no easement on our driveway. I also went next door and knocked. Hard. There was no response to my demand letter or thunderous pounding.
The question at hand, is do I call the police department and have the car towed? My landlord has already authorized it, and I'm pissed that somebody would disrespect my authority by parking in a resident who does have the clear right to be there. However, I'm torn at the thought of having the car towed tonight and then not moving at all tomorrow. Furthermore, I'm dismayed at the thought of committing an act of war against a good looking girl. That fear, though, is countered by the fact that she hasn't offered me any meretricious services yet, CLEARLY making her a lesbian. Mainly, I'm concerned about making somebody incur $200 plus in fees if I don't get any benefit from it, but on the other hand, they have no right to be in the driveway, and apparently does not care at all about the fact that she is parking in a car at the other end for three days.
UPDATE:
The iron illegal immigrant has been towed. My ride has been moved to an undisclosed location. There are some unidentified douchebags outside. They look pissed. The hot neighbor is not among them. Score: Me: 2 Douchebags: 0.
posted by Johnny Utah @ 9:14 PM
4 Comments:
Is this the same one you saw walking around topless through the window? Because if so, hot topless girls don't leave cars parked in other people's driveways. I'm pretty sure that's not the way the world works.
Stop torturing me from afar with this topless discussion!
Never assume someone won't go for you. As Wayne Gretzky said, a shot not taken is a shot not scored. Also, note how hot Gretzky's wife used to be before she started gambling.
I discovered the identity of the car owner todau in a rather unpleasant confrontation, when the car was parked AGAIN in the driveway. Needless to say, I threw down.
It was some douche and his girlfriend. He tried telling me that the tow on his girlfriend's car was "illegal" and they had the right to park in my driveway. I tried to deny it was me that called the cops, but forgot I was outside talking to the cop for fifteen minutes, and signed the complaint with my address. The conversation was unpleasant because I seemed to be completely out of wit. I couldn't even muster a quality response like "fuck you." I'm definitely calling the cops the second i see that car on the driveway. The throwdown, needless to say, was a VICIOUS roundhouse.
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