The Final Battle

Mr. Vice recently prophesized that the raccoon would come back to strike. He's never been wrong in the past when it comes to animal super-villains, and now I fear the prophecy has come true. I'm cowering in my bedroom, listening to the sound of a larger clawed animal scurrying about in my ceiling. Not roof. Ceiling. The scary shit is I don't have a nice plaster and wood ceiling shielding me against the raccoon enemy like I did at the old place. This one has standard ceiling tiles and I can hear the motherfucker chewing and clawing. There is a very real chance
that a gigantic raccoon will come crashing down on me while I sleep.

We all know this is a sequal, and from what we know about sequals, nobody is safe. Jason Vorheis, Michael Meyers, and Freddy Krueger all killed off heroes from the previous movies in sequals. In Final Destination II, death caught up with the heroic Ali Larter and knocked her off. In Back to the Future II, Biff killed George McFly. In Rocky II, Rocky Balboa knocked out Apollo Creed. I fear Death stalks me now, and if I die, some lesser actor will have to finish dealing with evil in my absence. Probably Freddy Prinze Jr. I swear, if he gets the movie babe I earned at the end of the first movie because I'm dead, I'll come back and haunt his ass good.

Meanwhile, I have to get up at 6 every morning this week for job training that lasts most of the day. There's someone there with a real life name of "Carl Johnson." Don't worry, I already alienated myself and asked if he was named after the character in GTA San Andreas. However, I know that people are finishing up with finals and I want to cram some hanging out in during the evenings before people depart for the real world (if I'm not dead from raccoon-related injuries).