Things to do in Missouri

Some entreprenuers in Missouri have announced that they intend to turn a giant cave into an underground recreational area complete with shopping, scuba diving, ice skating, and even a photo booth. I'm always wary of caves because of the undesirable life forms that tend to dwell there. Below is a list of prominant cave residents that I don't like:

1. Osama Bin Laden
2. Jabba the Hut
3. Jason Voorhees' mother's head (but only in the Nintendo version of the Friday the 13th saga)
4. Spelunkers
5. Gollum
6. ABBA
7. Batman
8. Batman Returns
9. Bears (both regular bears and polar bears, in ice caves...the Berenstein Bears are excluded because they live in a giant tree)
10. The Boxcar children (but only because Grandfather Alden got sick of them mooching and drove them from the boxcar into a cave...where they discovered a mystery)
11. Steve Guttenberg

As you can plainly see, caves don't have much to offer in the way of recreation, so I'm not sure what this Missouri dickhead sees in the recreational cave business. I for one, will be boycotting the cave mall/ice rink/lake. Who's with me?